Friday, July 17, 2009

If I Could Be Like That

None of us have really moved on.

I feel like falling down
But there's nowhere further down.

None of us know what we want.

Anymore.

I.

Can't forget. Lack of effort.

I've been thinking lately that-

I keep going.

Do you still see her in everything?

In hair tied at the back
Shirts pulled up at the shoulders
And jeans
Against
You

Stop.

Why? Why stop?

Are you scared that these thoughts
That you can't decipher yourself
Will spew out unhindered
Pushing a way through
Protesting words
Waves of the hands
They mean nothing

Stop.

December tore apart
In wild shrieking screams and sturdy boughs
Moaning as they slowly bend and bend and bend
And crack
And snap
And

Stop.

"Love, where is your fire"

Mood swings

Tight blue cotton jacket, brown 3/4 pants

I'm holding my heart
In my hands
It looks disgusting.

Speaking words that spiral to my feet
Lazily
They stare up at me
Quietly
They accuse
Why

Is she worth this?

No one knows.

We don't know.

My mind shuts down.

Is it so hard to understand

Don't ask God to make life easier, ask him to

make you

a stronger person

They say. I don't know.

You were here once. I knew you before. Have you changed? Please let me know

Please

Stop.

Aren't you tired of
waiting
wondering
for the biggest lie

And you'll be friends till you die.

You are guaranteed.

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

K.

And everything else.

You don't know if you want me I don't know if I want you and we're not

in a

rela-

Stop.

Hi, honey. You look terrible in that dress. And that faux smile. And those pretentious eyelashes.

And I don't know what is-

Here there everywhere

I'm wrong, but I have a lot to add. To say. In a hoarse voice that feebly screeches below mid-range. I'm too old for this to go on.

Too old to be waiting by the phone

Phone

Stop.

I could be somewhere else

Someone else

Doing something else

Flying overhead in a slipstream

By a lake on a chair

Anything else

Do you still see her?

What is she to you-

You

And this is how it ends

Hold your breath, dear.

This is where it all begins.

I need you more than you need me and


This will not end well.

Good luck

People

It could have been worse

Please learn


From what went wrong

Stop.

And over.

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